Hobbitses Is Tricksy

The Second Time I Tried to Eat Like a Hobbit

“But what about second breakfast?” So, two years ago, I tried to eat like a Hobbit. It did not go well, as all that I did was eat. While that may be fun for cute little Hobbits, it’s not fun for fat little humans. So I quit that pretty quickly. Long story short, I was overeating all day long and it got rather obnoxious trying to figure out what to eat during all those meals.

Fast forward to now. What’s different? Well, where to begin…..

In order to tell a story, you have to start from the beginning….ish. So I’ve had an interesting relationship with food. Like so many other girls, I was skinny growing up and I could, and did, eat whatever I wanted. In high school, my lunch usually consisted of a loaf of bread and a suicide slush puppy. One day, I ate an entire loaf of bread after school, too. In college, this didn’t get any different. One night, I ate a box of Rice a Roni and I chased it with a box of macaroni and cheese. I should also mention that every fall, thanks to marching band, I lost about 20 pounds, and usually 20 pounds I didn’t need to lose. This usually lead to me being severely dehydrated to the point of needing an IV during the first couple of games, but I digress….

So there I am, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and never working out and losing weight. Life is great, right? No one prepares you for what happens as you grow up. No one prepares you for what actually happens or COULD happen to your body in pregnancy. No one tells you that you might develop food allergies when you’re old. Food that you have always eaten could make you ridiculously ill. These are the things they don’t say.

It seems these days, everyone is allergic to everything, right? I’m not at all immune to this. Immune is an interesting choice of words, because, as it turns out, I have an autoimmune disease in which my immune system attacks my thyroid, which then does not allow my endocrine system to properly function and regulate my body. Like, for example, no matter what I did, I suddenly only GAINED weight and could not lose a thing. I also have arthritis in my knees because autoimmune disease. Know what else I have? Celiac disease. Because autoimmune disease. All of these things combine to make me not able to lose weight, at least not substantially. I may lose a pound here or there but it comes back with friends.

Enter COVID. Enter stress eating. Enter not sleeping. Immediately, my weight ballooned back up again. But I wasn’t really caring. I just kept eating. I went to work at 5 am, home at 2 pm, nap, eat a bag of chips, eat dinner, eat 1–2 ice cream bars, go to bed, repeat. About a month ago, a friend formed a #COVIDSHITSHOW support group-ish, and it’s truly been the kick in the ass that I needed. I have exercised at least 6 days a week for the last three weeks (I moved my ass) and I’ve been better about eating.

The first two weeks or so, though, I was still not losing weight, even with the extra working out. The problem is, even when I try to “eat right,” I do a lot of self-sabotage. I continue eating until it’s time for bed, I eat WAY more than I should, I continue to snack, and I continue to remain at the same weight.

Then one day, a friend mentioned that she had been intermittent fasting and only ate between 10 and 6. This intrigued me because I always thought fasting meant not eating for 24 hours or longer and there’s not a chance in hell I could ever manage that, so I started to research it. I tend to research and over-research things that seem too good to be true, so I read up on this for a couple of days.

Finally, I decided I would try to do 14:10 fasting. Mostly because I get up for work super early, and there was no way I would last until 10:00 with no food, but I didn’t want to try 8–4 because I didn’t want to miss eating with my family. So I fast for fourteen hours.

The first couple of days, I was DYING to eat. I was absolutely starving. The first morning at work, I kept staring at the clock, willing it to be 8:00. Once the clock struck 8, I snuck off to the office to SLOWLY drink my very small, 85 calorie protein shake. It made me feel better, but I was still starving. This would become First breakfast.

I then had an egg white omelet with mushrooms, ham, and cheese, oatmeal, and berries for what is now Second breakfast. Then I eat a cheese stick wrapped in pepperoni for Elevenses, followed by something for Luncheon (usually a wrap and some veggies and nuts). I skip afternoon tea, because on most days, by the time I have Luncheon, it’s almost time for dinner and quickly approaching the end of my fasting window, then I have dinner and, if there’s time and I feel I need it, I have another small shake for Supper.

I have realized where I went wrong the first time: I overplanned my meals and tried to have too much. Second breakfast is usually my monster meal, and it’s usually where I consume the vast majority of my carbs. I try to eat more protein than anything else, but it doesn't ALWAYS work out like that.

So four days into this, I have made some revelations. First and foremost, I am incredibly dehydrated right now. I usually drink 70–80 ounces of water per day (and then pee all night), but it would appear that your body needs extra water to survive the fast period. The second thing, and the most encouraging thing I think, is that I can immediately tell I am not bloated as much. I’ve also not been feeling as hungry as I was at first.

Sadly, I have had incredibly bad heartburn that Tums does not seem to solve. I have been taking simethicone and probiotics as well as trying to balance my pH levels with alkaline water, and I’m finally starting to feel some relief. I’ve read this can happen, so I’m not that worried about it yet, but I do hope it stabilizes sooner rather than later, as it is most unpleasant.